I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
