You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
