i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You are the jesus of drinking
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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