I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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