if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
