By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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