You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
