I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
