i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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