1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
