And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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