He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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