I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize