his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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