never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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