he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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