She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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