I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
love makes seman taste better
this boner is exhausting
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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