Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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