I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
