The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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