yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
