last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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