Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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