My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
