oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
