If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
