Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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