I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
