i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
