u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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