I'm drive I can fine osifer
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
