there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
