I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Randomize
