Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
