So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
