Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
