I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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