the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
