At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
