My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Less talking, more tequila
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
