I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
