I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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