your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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