Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
