i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
