tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize