Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
