awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
