I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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