you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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