Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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