Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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