where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
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Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want