Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
