marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
