Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
