Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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