P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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