should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
