You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
