; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
please don't ironically join a cult
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