My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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