He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I forget how to act sober
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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