he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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